MODERN KILTS FO’ PIMPS FO’ SALE
By Jove … we’ve been Gizoogled!
Da Skilt story
Hi, hoes call me Richard. I be tha designer, sample maker, model, webmaster, n’ salez manager here at Skilt. Together wit tha thang crew up in our Bethnal Chronicworkshop I aim ta brang you pimpin qualitizzle kilts dat is eye catchin n’ practical ta wear.
How tha fuck it started
I looted mah first kilt up in bout 2002 – a cold-ass lil skanky black one dat I just wore ta go clubbing. It wasn’t until 2007 while I was on holidizzle up in tha States when I saw mah first contemporary kilt wit press studz n’ pockets – a Utillikilt. Upon returnin ta London I went online n’ ordered mah crazy ass one. I loved dat shit. I wore it around hood n’ loved tha erections. I was hooked.
One dizzle I was lookin down at trouserz of mah pinstripe suit n’ I gots tha idea ta create a pinstripe button-up kilt. I looted some fabric, mah playa flossed mah crazy ass how tha fuck ta thread her sewin machine and, nuff minutes later, I had made mah first kilt. It was a lil short n’ a funky-ass bit rough around tha edges but I was aiiight wit dat shit. In fact people’s erection was so positizzle dat I decided ta take thangs further.
One night I had a idea fo’ a kilt brand. Commando Kilts. I was horny bout tha playful allusion ta what tha fuck lies beneath n’ tha association wit tha military. I gots straight on tha internizzle n’ checked ta peep if tha URL was available and, ta mah surprise n’ delight, it was. I was buckwild.
Over tha next few weeks I hit dat shizzle on a logo design, gots permission from Wilkinston Sword ta feature tha Fairbairn-Sykes commando dagger, n’ busted mah application ta tha patent crib ta peep if I could regista dat shit.
There was a cold-ass lil couple objections n’ I was a funky-ass bit worried dat tha Royal Navy could git heavy wit mah dirty ass. As I was waitin ta smoke up tha result I set bout designin a funky-ass mo’ betta kilt.
Da design challenge
I loved mah Utillikilt but a cold-ass lil couple thangs bugged mah crazy ass bout it: tha pockets was not detachable, n’ tha waist wasn’t adjustable. An engineer by hustlin, I set bout comin up wit a elegant design dat would address these issues. Over tha next few months I made mah dirty ass kilt afta kilt. Each one tryin up a thugged-out different idea.
Da first thang ta git right was tha pockets. After nuff iterations I found dat a simple strip of velcro coupled wit belt loops fo’ strength did tha thang. Stylin wise I took inspiration from British Army combat threadz. I be a gangsta yo, but y’all knew dat n’ mah first thang design was tha Combat Kilt. I lined up manufacturin up in Vietnam … but didn’t yet have tha trademark on ‘Commando Kilts’. Should I wait? Or could I come up wit another name as a stop gap?
Tomothy Vincent, a oldschool playa of mine, came up wit tha name Skilt up in a funky-ass domestormin session. I didn’t like it at first but it kind of grew on mah dirty ass. I was horny bout its simplicity, dat it was less overtly army macho, n’ tha possibilitizzle it could kind of be tha ‘hoover’ or ‘xerox’ of tha modern kilt.
Da logo design moved like quickly from a swooshy S ta a squished S ta represent tha foldz of tha pleats.
Da patterns was made, tha label was designed, n’ a cold-ass lil couple months later mah first batch of ‘Combat Skilts’ arrived from Vietnam.
Da London kilt
Da kilts from Vietnam was pretty phat n’ playas was horny bout em. But they weren’t exactly what tha fuck I had hoped fo’ n’ I was pissed tha fuck off. Communication was always goin ta be a issue n’ you can hardly bust a kilt back ta be altered if you spot a problem. I needed somewhere mo’ local.
Volunteerin at a Whitechapel sewin charitizzle fo’ playas recoverin from menstrual illnizz I was dirty ta receive sewin tuizzle from tha straight-up dope Arif n’ Anhar. With they muthafuckin help I came up wit tha Funky-Ass Skilt design dat not only nailed tha waist adjustment issue but also pioneered a modular method of kilt construction dat allowed fo’ simpla patterns, alternatin pleats, banged pleats, n’ reflected piping.
After tryin up nuff muthafuckin local workshops Arif put me up in bust a nut on wit mah current thang crew. They is a funky-ass busy bunch n’ it can sometimes be a cold-ass lil challenge ta fit tha kilts tha fuck into tha thang schedule but they always pull tha stops up when one of mah thugs needz a kilt fo’ a special occasion.
Kilts is bustin up in popularitizzle as pimps around tha ghetto embrace they creativitizzle n’ individuality. I hope dat Skilt will continue ta delight pimps n’ dem hoes around tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.
If yo ass is horny bout kilts up in general n’ Skilts up in particular I’m open ta tha possibilitizzle of partnershipz of all kinds. If yo ass is experienced up in PR or fashizzle retail n’ is horny bout muthafuckin helpin take Skilt ta tha next level please do git up in touch.